Running jargon can be jarring

There’s a gentleman in Maryland who has laced up his shoes and gone for a run every single day since April 4, 1967. He’s the longest known “streaker” recognized by the U.S. Running Streak Association. This brings up two interesting points:

A) There is someone out there who has run every darn day, rain or shine, for almost 41 years and,

B) There is an actual association that recognizes streakers. But if you want to join this particular streaking club, put those clothes back on; in this case, “streaking” refers to the challenge of running numerous consecutive days (or years).

My streaks are generally pretty short. But in my running career, I have bonked, hit the wall, sulked away with a DNF and received some cool hardware after running a negative split for a PR. What does this mean, you ask?

Runners — streakers and casual runners alike — have a running jargon that can make little or no sense to those outside of the running realm. If you’re a nonrunner in a maze of running friends and family, you’re in luck. I’m here to help bridge that communication gap:

• 5k — A 3.1-mile run, perfect for first-time racers; a popular distance for fundraising events, and a big hit on Thanksgiving and New Year’s Eve.

• Bandit — Runner who participates without registering and/or paying the entry fee; sometimes overheard claiming “I’m just running to support my friend/husband/wife.” See also: cheapskate.

• Bonk — State of exhaustion where glycogen is depleted, blood sugar levels are extremely low and a little devil appears on your shoulder telling you you’re going to die.

• Brain Training — Mental aspect of training for a race, conditioning the mind to push through the physical pain and flick that devil off your shoulder.

• Carbo Loading — Dietary practice of filling glycogen stores with carbohydrates in preparation of a race. Can be mistakenly used as an excuse to dine at Luigi’s and load up on cheesy, oily garlic bread the night before a big race.

• Cross-training — Alternate forms of exercise to add variety, increase conditioning and prevent injury in runners, such as cycling, swimming, skiing, ice dancing, polo and dodge ball.

• DNF — Did Not Finish. A big slice of humble pie served up as the result of a personal bad race. Possibly caused by weather, undertraining, overtraining or too much Luigi’s garlic bread.

• Hardware — Finisher or age group medals handed out in addition to awards for the overall winners. An essential wardrobe accessory as you limp your way to dinner after a marathon.

• Hitting the Wall — Similar to bonking: depletion of glycogen and blood sucrose, triggering the feeling of exhaustion and erratic emotions — possibly causing the outburst of anger towards a Mariachi band at mile 23 of a marathon.

• Negative Split — Finding the energy from deep within to run the second half of a race faster than the first half.

• PR — Personal Record. Your very best at that particular distance. And who cares if you didn’t come in first place; you’re a winner.

• Race Swag — Cool stuff found in your race packet in addition to the T-shirt and bib number; aka stuff you normally wouldn’t buy, but somehow when it’s presented in miniature trial-size form, it’s fun.

Today is a perfect day to start streaking, sign up for a 5k, get some race swag and go for that PR. Now go outside and play!

<i>Elizabeth Schnittker and her husband, Chris, own and operate Running Tracks, Downtown Grand Junction’s specialty running store and home of the Thursday night streak. Running keeps Elizabeth young, as evidenced by this photo; she’s really older than 4. Elizabeth and Chris welcome your questions and comments at rfrdepo@aol.com.</i>